The Gift of Intentionality: A Marriage Tool That Outlasts the Holidays
- By Thad Shunkwiler, LMFT
It’s easy to get swept up in December.
Shopping lists. School programs. Family gatherings. The stress, the schedule, the swirl of expectations—it’s a lot. And often, the one person we promised to put first gets lost in the shuffle.
This season, I want to offer a different kind of gift idea—the gift of intentionality.
Because in marriage, intentionality is what keeps connection alive. It’s what transforms “just getting through the holidays” into moments that build emotional intimacy, trust, and clarity.
Why Intentionality Matters
In every relationship, intention is the quiet difference between drifting apart and growing together.
It shows up in the small things:
- A quick text to check in mid-day
- Making eye contact when they walk in the door
- Pausing before reacting in frustration
- Scheduling a date night on purpose—not when there’s “time”
These actions aren’t grand or expensive. But they are deliberate. And over time, they create a sense of safety and closeness that no wrapped gift can match.
Ways to Be More Intentional with Your Spouse
This season, consider giving your partner one (or all) of these intentional gifts:
The gift of attention: Put the phone down. Make eye contact. Ask how their day was—and listen.
The gift of time: Don’t wait until January to reconnect. Carve out 20 minutes this week for just the two of you, even if it’s over a cup of coffee before the kids wake up.
The gift of understanding: When conflict arises, slow down. Ask, “What are we really trying to say here?”
The gift of reminders: Intentionality doesn’t always come naturally. Set a phone reminder. Leave a sticky note. Use the tools that help you show up on purpose.
You don’t need to be perfect—just present and purposeful.
When Intentionality Feels Out of Reach
If you’re reading this and thinking, We don’t have that right now, or I don’t even know where to begin, you’re not alone.
Sometimes life, hurt, or unresolved tension gets in the way.
Sometimes our best intentions get buried under old patterns and emotional distance.
That’s where therapy comes in.
At Mankato Marriage Solutions, we help couples who want to reconnect—but aren’t sure how. Whether you’re newly married, decades in, or feeling like you’re on your last thread, we can help you rediscover clarity, closeness, and shared direction.
This Season, Give Your Marriage the Gift That Lasts
Presents are great. But the kind of gift your relationship truly needs this season might not be in a box—it might be a shift in how you show up.
The gift of intention doesn’t require a receipt. But it does require effort.
And it’s one of the few gifts that keeps giving—long after the decorations come down.
Ready to make this the season of reconnection?
Reach out today and let us help you give your marriage what it truly deserves: your presence, your attention, and your commitment to growing together.